Oscar the talking cat has now become very famous. Everybody knows about Oscar. I told one of my betting friends this, and he was very dismissive. So I said “choose three famous people, and we’ll go and ask them if they know Oscar. If any one of them doesn’t know Oscar then I pay you one million pounds, otherwise you pay me one million.”
“OK” he said.
First Madonna. “Do I know Oscar, everybody knows Oscar. Why just last week I asked his advice on my next single.”
Second: the Queen of England. We knocked on the palace door, and Prince Phillip answered. “Excuse me, we’ve come to ask the Queen if she knows Oscar.”
“Does she know Oscar, of course she knows Oscar. Everybody knows Oscar. Hey Liz, there are two blokes down here asking about Oscar.”
The Queen shouted back “tell them they’ve just missed him.”
My friend was getting worried now, so for his third choice he said the Pope. We were walking across St Marks Square looking up at the balcony, where we saw Oscar and the Pope deep in conversation. Suddenly a tourist taps my friend on the shoulder, and said. “Excuse me mate, up there on the balcony, who’s the guy in white talking to Oscar?”